Looking Death in the eye
by bhut
Summary: They are coming for him, Grant knows. Of course they do, for he made a challenge, and it must be answered.


**Looking Death in the eye**

 _Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine, but belong to Marvel™._

They are coming for him, Grant knows. _Of course_ they do, for he made a challenge, and it _must_ be answered.

Sometimes, at night, Grant dreams. He dreams of working for S.H.I.E.L.D. alongside Skye – but she is Daisy now, a perfect stranger, and one that Grant does not care to know about. He dreams of working, smiling for Coulson's approval – and that fills him with cold sweat, for Coulson had killed Garrett, his father.

Grant Ward isn't stupid, (though he was, once), and besides, months of solitary confinement would've given anyone plenty of time slash food for thought. Maybe that is what Coulson was after – for Grant to break down and to beg, to agree for _anything_ in exchange for S.H.I.E.L.D.'s mercy, for even after Puerto Rico, when Coulson knew (he _had_ to know, it's not like his own pet protégé would keep secrets from him, right?) that Ward wasn't going to have _anything_ to do with S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore, he still came over to Mexico, dragging Garrett's reject of a tinker toy with him, and promptly coerced Grant to work for him and with S.H.I.E.L.D. in exchange for T.A.H.I.T.I. – WTF? This sort of high-handed approach did not work, does not work, for the US in its politics abroad and it did not work for Coulson, especially after Grant had him fooled with simple flattery afterwards – and this is why Coulson had sent Hunter, and maybe the Cavalry after him. 'Maybe' because there are rumors of May and Coulson being at odds, but S.H.I.E.L.D., and especially Coulson are very good at roping people back in, and besides – Ward and May have fought twice now, won one round each, and so May is probably itching for the decisive third round – and so does Ward, for he intends to _lose_ , for the truth of the matter is nothing in this world is for free, a sacrifice, a payment for everything. What Grants wants to buy, to acquire, to have is a legacy.

Once, it was a different dream – a house and a family of his own, a wife, a daughter, maybe other children – but that dream was lost. Why? Because he actually bought that S.H.I.E.L.D. was different from Hydra, that it composed of people, rather than minions – and boy was he wrong. Morse, in particular, hated Kara Lynn so much that she would rather suffer genuine pain than to apologize. The few must suffer for the sake of the many? Indeed!

...Once Grant thought that he and Bobbi Morse had something in common – and he was right. Morse was who he would have been, if he had not been Hydra rather than S.H.I.E.L.D., had followed Phil Coulson in the aftermath of Hydra's defeat rather than John: a competent fighter, an overly proud, arrogant arse, a political animal – and in a bad way. Well, in a worse way, for there are no good ways when it comes to politics, you know?.. Now that he had a chance to see it from the outside, Grant does not want that – what he wants is revenge. Revenge on Coulson, revenge on S.H.I.E.L.D., though not revenge on _Daisy_ , for he knows her not, and why would he want to have revenge on a perfect stranger? He misses Skye – perhaps – and he would have liked to apologize to her for being an obsessive mad man, but Daisy? Who is Daisy?

Coulson's pet project, that is who, his very own version of Grant Ward. Really, Phil's demands are not that different from John's, but he wants them to be executed with a smile on the face and the song in the heart. Grant Ward, a wannabe hero? Morse had worked in Hydra; she knows that Hydra beats any urge of being heroic out of its members very early on. No, she was talking about herself – and had accepted that truth about herself, so it is certainly time for Grant to accept his own truth and to build his own legacy: a new Hydra. One that will be able to go toe to toe with whatever new version of S.H.I.E.L.D. that Coulson is going to built up – is building up, that is. His people are already finding new recruits: lost souls who have nothing to gain and S.H.I.E.L.D. gives them purpose, its own purpose, tears them down and builds them up. Whitehall and Bakshi would have been _so_ impressed, though their approach to this sort of thing was more direct and honest, more brutal than Coulson seems to be liking – but Grant won't be facing Coulson, he will be facing the Cavalry and probably Lance Hunter, and neither of them have any qualms of being direct and brutal, which is why Grant will take them over Coulson any time – and he still needs to die, preferably cleanly.

Grant is not stupid – he knows that his time as a specialist got a limit: he is getting older, he is getting weaker, and he has limited set of skills to begin with. He is a killer, but he must an inspiring leader, a mentor instead. This is not his best scenario, but he has no choice. When he tried to retire quietly with Kara Lynn in Mexico? S.H.I.E.L.D. came and pulled him back in, for he was still useful...and at that time he was stupid enough to believe that he could work with that. He was wrong. He does not want to be useful to S.H.I.E.L.D., not anymore, and that makes him truly dangerous to the agency, to its philosophy of being the good guy on Earth. Who guards the guards, indeed? Well, if Grant has his way – it will be Hydra, a new, leaner, improved Hydra that will be able to stand up to Coulson's new, InHuman-saturated S.H.I.E.L.D. By that time, Grant will be obsolete, and he has no intention of following Coulson's way, Fury's way, even John's, in cheating death, for it is unnatural and Grant had his fill of that.

And on the other hand? His actual death will be the excuse, the final excuse for von Strucker the younger to go after S.H.I.E.L.D., which is what Grant's plans are – that, and meeting Kara Lynn in their next incarnations, and for that Grant needs to die too.

...There once was a woman whom Ward truly loved and who truly loved him back – and her name was Kara Lynn. There once was a man who gave him the world and who gave him a chance when no one else would – and his name was John Garrett. S.H.I.E.L.D. took both of them from him, due to his own naiveté, pride and stupidity – so now Grant is going to do something about it. Let S.H.I.E.L.D. agents come, let them kill him – and from Grant's grave new Hydra will rise, a Hydra whose tentacles will grab S.H.I.E.L.D.'s stupid eagle and drag it into a watery grave.

And then Grant's spirit – in his next incarnation – will know peace and satisfaction at last.


End file.
